I am honestly becoming really rather worried about the state of these months. I hardly even get used to the idea of being in one and it’s over. June has been a month for gaining some satisfaction for long-made plans: I’m two-thirds of the way through my annoyingly difficult tests for my new adventure, I finally got admitted to my program (for all of modernity’s speed, Universities still like to kick it old-style and snail crawl every move), my blog has begun to do some behind-the-scenes shifting (yay, yay, yay!) in the very capable hands of someone you will hopefully learn more about in the near future, and I’m beginning to see little light glimmers at the end of some tunnels I felt like would never reach fresh air again.
Even though I think I put on a pretty convincing facade, I’m really not a very patient person. I want things done and I want them done NOW and I will plan and organize and work hard to get them done unlesssss those things that need to be done are out of my hands and then the oh so helpless feelings of relying on other people begin to gnaw away at my (I admit it!) control-freak self. Thankfully, while I was patiently desperately, tearfully, and whining-ly waiting pacing this month, I did seem to have some excellent time with my wonderful dad, made a few treats, tried a few projects, and had a good stiff drink (sort of). I also began to come to terms with a new path even though sometimes things slip a bit, and in the end was reminded for the 1,000,000,000,000,000,000 time that I should probably not worry so much?…yeah, it’s a good idea at least, isn’t it?
The lovely movie star / bathing beauty / swimming champion Esther Williams died last Friday at the age of 91. For all her personal success and beauty though, Esther’s story behind the screen, or, rather, outside of the swimming pool, was actually rather tragic as far as her relationships were concerned. She was married four times: Her first husband, a pre-med student, she supported and even paid off in order to get a divorce from him. Her second, was an alcoholic, and gambled and lost many of her millions from her movie success. By the end of the marriage, he gave her three kids and a steep debt with the IRS for unpaid taxes. Her third husband happily paid for his own keep, but wouldn’t let Esther’s three children from her former marriage attend the wedding or live with the new couple. Her last marriage lasted until her death. When asked who her favorite leading man was in all her movies, Esther replied that it had been “the water” of course, for on and off screen the men in her life didn’t seem to lead at all, and the ones who did led her to break off the relationship.
When I was reading about Esther’s life I wondered how she could get it wrong three times. Weren’t there warning signs? A “jerk-face” sign popping up around the guy somewhere pre-marriage? Is being a celebrity in a relationship just really that hard to find even a resemblance of a “good guy”? I suppose I shall never know but I do know that while I might want to suit up like Esther this summer, I think I’ll steer clear of her man-meter, it seemed to be tipping the scales a bit on the wrong end of “lasting.”